garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Dignity is for republicans.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
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