Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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