Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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