She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
