i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
