I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
