Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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