After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
my sisters under your porch take her home
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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