my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize