You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize