Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
