SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
