I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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