Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
