Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
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