another moral hangover. fuck.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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