At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
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