You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
