the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
be right there i have to get my cape
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
