I'm so fucking centered right now
I need help removing her.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
