if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
where does the pee come out of this thing
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
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