Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
