I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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