So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
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