I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
