Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Bring me that man meat
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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