3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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