The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
