I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
pray to the hookup gods
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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