i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize