He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize