i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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