i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
