Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
this boner is exhausting
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
