Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
