something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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