How'd it feel making her break her religion?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Randomize