That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
