Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Randomize
