Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
