Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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