We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
third nipple confirmed
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
