My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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