she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
