My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize