Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
