yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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