..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
