What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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