Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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