Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Found your dick twin last night
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
