take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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