we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
