Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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