What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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