Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
