dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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