WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
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