Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
