did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
