I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
