i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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