I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize