This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
