just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
